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| User: | 85lbs (8166839)
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| Name: | dance between the raindrops in a downpour |
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Message: | Send 85lbs a text message
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| Website: | the fragile |
| Location: | Kingston, Ontario, Canada |
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| 85lbs | @ | livejournal.com (Jabber) |
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| AOL IM: |  yourdelicatestar (Add Buddy, Send Message) |
| Yahoo! ID: |  yourdelicatestar (Add User, Send Message) |
| MSN Username: | | delicatestar_ | @ | hotmail.com |
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| Skype: |  delicatestar |
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| Bio: |
updated stats
march 29th
height: 5'4
weight: 74
bmi: 12.7
nothing tastes as good as thin feels
"I felt like I was going out of my mind. My head was never quiet. Quiet is an in-between point, implying a balance between noise and silence, between the strange blackouts I began to have -- pure silence, not sleeplike but deathlike -- and the hellish shrieking jumble of my own thoughts and the voices of the world.
And the sharp hiss of one voice that started out softly, as though below layers of moss, or flesh, and gradually became so loud it drowned out everything else: Thinner, it said. You've got to get thinner.
But you know, even then, that word was wrong. It is more than Thinness, per se, that you crave. It is the implication of Thin. The tacit threat of Thin. The Houdini-esque-ness of Thin, walking on hot coals without a flinch, sleeping on a bed of nails. You wish to carry Thinness on your arm, with her cool smile. You wish for that invisible, vibrating wire that hums between two lovers, implying a private touch. You wish for such a wire, humming between you and Thinness, at a party, on the street, humming softly between you and death."
"My god! people say. You have so much self-control! And later: My god. You're so, so sick. When people say this, they turn their heads, you've won your little game. You have proven your thesis that no-body-loves-me-every-body-hates-me, guess-I'll-just-eat-worms. You get to sink back into your hospital bed, shrieking with righteous indignation. See? you get to say. I knew you'd give up on me. I knew you'd leave."
"We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need."
"You begin to forget what it means to live. You forget things. You forget that you used to feel all right. You forget what it means to feel all right because you feel like shit all the time, and you can't remember what it was like before. People take the feeling of full for granted. They take for granted the feeling of steadiness, of hands that do not shake, heads that do not ache, throats not raw with bile and small rips of fingernails forced to haste to the gag spot. Stomachs that do not begin to wake up in the night, calves and thighs knotting in muscles that are beginning to eat away at themselves. they may or may not be awakened at night by their own inexpelicable sobs."
-"Wasted," Marya Hornbacher
"Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell."
TOOL "Cold and Ugly"
TILLYNESS♥ |
| Pictures: | over 50 public |
| Interests: | 141: 00, aerobics, america's next top model, ani difranco, anorexia, back bones, balenciaga, ballerinas, beauty, being fucked up, being high, being thin, being tiny, bisexual, bluedragonfly.org, bmi, boho, bones, bongs, brand new, bright eyes, burning calories, caffeine, calorie counting, calorie restriction, carmen kass, cigarettes, cocaine, coffee, coffee&cigarettes, collarbones, compulsive exercise, control, cough syrup, counting calories, cutting, death cab for cutie, depression, diet pills, diet soda, diets, drugs, dxm, eating disorders, ed icons, ed-nos, electro, elliptical, emaciation, espresso, exercise, fasting, fat-free, fitday, food journals, further seems forever, gemma ward, girl interrupted, green tea, green tea pills, gym, hana soukupova, hip bones, hipbones, hunger pains, hungry-girl.com, hydroxycut, infected mushroom, insomnia, johnny depp, kate moss, l.a., long walks, losing weight, marijuana, mary-kate olsen, marya hornbacher, meth, models, motivation, my treadmill, nicole richie, nicotine, night, obsession, ocd, panic! at the disco, perfection, perfectionism, peta, photography, psych wards, radiohead, rammstein, razorblades, red bracelet, red nail polish, restricting, rib-cages, ritalin, safe foods, salvia, saves the day, scales, secrets, self-mutilation, something corporate, starbucks, starvation, starving, stick figure, striving for perfection, sugar-free red bull, sugarfree gum, supermodels, sylvia plath, taking back sunday, techno, the 60s, the early november, the spill canvas, thinspiration, thirteen, thursday, treadmill, trimspa, underweight, vampires, vegetarianism, vintage, waif, wasted, wasting away, water, weight loss, witch baby, working out, working out., xs, yoga, zines |
| Friends: |  | 258: | 0leander_tea, 0weakest_link0, 1121am, 14bmi, 240to125, 2thinluv, 44ash, 9_9lbs, ___77, ________aconite, ______vodka, _____anacuresme, ___bubble, ___emaciated, ___stricken, ___uhmshutup, __caffinated, _bodysculptor, _dizzy_love_, _emptyfaces, _iamx, _inventory, _itdiestoday_, _opiumeyes, _samesadstory_, _synthemesc_, _yes_anastasia, ad_h0minem, agerba, airport_love, akashicrecord, almostperfect23, amistaree, anas_tragedy, anastasia_ch, and_shewishes, anorexic_chic, ars__longa, as_she_starves, ashleym_01, aspartic_acid, asti68, autumns_revenge, bangle, barbaricpoetry, barbie_doll123, barlights, beavisface, blithebeautie, bloodyxbunny, blucoat, blueclouds_____, blueeyedbarbie2, brilliant_scars, cenobitepinhead, changing__doll, chixa_love, come_onvirginia, crash___, crazygirl5938, crimsonriver, cruel_obsession, cry_for_bones, crybabyisme, cumbubblequeen, daddysambiguity, dakestangel, darling_itsover, delicatelily, dirtyflicks, doublezero, dreamxdarkness, dreamyxdeath, dustbin_flower, dyingtowonder, e_x_h_a_l_e, echo_waning, elfianjoy, ellepipistrelle, emmaally, et3rna1ly, ethereal87, extremexmachine, fading_earth, fading_requiem, fairpoppet, fairy18_xx, fashionista3, fatphobia, fcukfoodx, festivusmiracle, figuranta, fireflyfailure, flesh_vehicle, food_kills, foodnomore, four_line_poem, fracturedstars, freakshownia, freeezzze, glamour_glammm, gossamar, greyjay, grungeprincess, heyitskathy, holographictaxi, hootiewho, houzuri, hungry_yet, i_dont_fly, ihatenovember, ilovemkandtheoc, ilovetobempty, im_x_melting, infamous_loa, irene_t, its_love00, iw2bthin, jannone, jerry_po, jesusandgeorge, jlake1214, julesrules83, justlettuce, katiedrunk, katrina18, kawaiinoir, kayla_g, kelstar, kf9330, kinderwhorrid, kittywa, kristineflyaway, larsson511, lesbaleine, like_clay, lildevilgurl172, liskalu, lithiumx23x, little_miss_eli, lonelyrainbow, loserallalone, lovethosebones, luhluhl0ve, mad_orange, madeofsequins, madrad, maryx7angelx7, mettep, mi_do, mischa99, misstiffie, mod_twig, morning_glori, mowgli_18, needforchange, nelene07, neysita, ninetyonelbs, nixxi_b, no_other_option, notparaphobic, nrichie_perfect, ohsweetbones, ohtobeyou, omgitsasherly, omgitsmuggy, pain_in_truth, partitions, paspourquoi, pass_a_smile, peacefulcolors, peachtea7, peenk_candy, perfectisfake, petite_larme, petiteeatrepeat, petiteperfect, pettheguineapig, pink_choco, pipegakk, pookafey, prettybones24, princesselle666, ps__iadoreyou, queenie911, raaspberry, rachitique, rainbowfaces, raining_coffee, rawemotion67, rechteck, rel541, reveztoujours, roseband, ruachruach, rubyteardrops, runnerskickbutt, rupiegroupie, sanglantgeisha, secret_sin, see_my_bones, selloutsloveme, sept___embers, shadow_s, shessodull, shesuntouchable, shivafarajifar, shnookem, shousui, shrunken_violet, silk_slips, sirenica, skiiinnyorange, skinniobsession, skinnywins_____, sparkled_eyes, starbucks__love, starrcr0ssed, starrryeyed, starvelouzsly, starvin4attn, still_atrophy, stitched_kitten, superskinnyme, suzieq0805, svveets, sweetlez4lez, swingingsponges, tearsofice__, thin_darling, thin_mira, thinkickspinsta, thinner104, thisislove_00, thisismysecret2, tiny_twist, tinyballerina83, tosche, turntablestatic, twiggyish, venice_qween, verschwindet, wannabe_better, whitexsaucer, will_ah_wisp, winterjadedsoul, wwmkd, x__hipbones, xheartsnscarsx, xtaxidermyx, xxnina, xxtinkerbell89x, xxxiwontstopxxx, yerburdenaface, yuming, zainylove, zillahspliffah |  | 98: | 0_layouts_4_pie, 0_size_0, 0nlythreeweeks, 28dayplan, ___negative, __compulsive_ex, __iiicons, _anaxcore, _dietpills_, _loves__it, _nicolerichie, _paranoidicons, _premadelayouts, _realthin, _restriction, _skinny2006, _thinspire, add_me_ed, am_i_thin, ana_circle, ana_fasts, ana_mk, ana_recipes, anafriends, anarecipes, anorexicqueen, beaverpost, bulimics, cake_icons, chemicalwhores, craftgrrl, daily_exercise, daily_intake, destinationthin, diet_cookbook, dietpillhelp, discount_codes, diy_tutorials, e_d_icons, ed_canada, ed_friends, ed_grocery, edsnailmail, edsupports, epinettes, fast2gether, fivefootthree, flowerexia, freelayouts, fridayglamour, gemma_ward, guessmyweight, hq_celebrities, icondinamic, icons_a_go_go, igniite, iheartmyroom, inspireusnicole, longingtobethin, mastercleanse, midcenturymod, miss_marykate, mk_ate, mka_requests, mkaolsen, mkaphotos, myfriendeddie, myspace_layouts, ourbedrooms, override_lj, overrides, perfectedsouls, pour_retrecir, premade_ljs, proed_mixtape, purgatorium, read_ed_books, roslyakovavlada, runwaym, scarlet_designs, shoptoronto, tf_postsecrets, tfcommune, thiinkthin, thin_archive, thinspirememk2, thriftwhore, thyroid, total_control, trashion_etc, veg_ed, vlada_model, vladaroslyakova, vs_angels, weekly_weigh_in, were_not_hungry, whatshouldibuy, zine_scene |  | 6: | blogthings, is_scorpio, ivillage_health, psychologytoday, thesuperficial, veganlunchbox |
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| Mutual Friends: | 219: 0leander_tea, 0weakest_link0, 14bmi, 240to125, 2thinluv, 9_9lbs, ___77, ______vodka, ___bubble, ___emaciated, ___stricken, ___uhmshutup, __caffinated, _bodysculptor, _dizzy_love_, _emptyfaces, _iamx, _inventory, _itdiestoday_, _opiumeyes, _samesadstory_, _synthemesc_, _yes_anastasia, ad_h0minem, airport_love, akashicrecord, almostperfect23, amistaree, anas_tragedy, anastasia_ch, and_shewishes, anorexic_chic, ashleym_01, asti68, autumns_revenge, bangle, barbaricpoetry, barbie_doll123, barlights, beavisface, blithebeautie, bloodyxbunny, blucoat, blueclouds_____, blueeyedbarbie2, brilliant_scars, changing__doll, chixa_love, come_onvirginia, crash___, crazygirl5938, cruel_obsession, cry_for_bones, crybabyisme, cumbubblequeen, dakestangel, darling_itsover, delicatelily, dirtyflicks, doublezero, dreamxdarkness, dreamyxdeath, dustbin_flower, dyingtowonder, e_x_h_a_l_e, echo_waning, elfianjoy, ellepipistrelle, emmaally, et3rna1ly, ethereal87, extremexmachine, fading_earth, fading_requiem, fairpoppet, fairy18_xx, fashionista3, fatphobia, fcukfoodx, festivusmiracle, figuranta, fireflyfailure, flesh_vehicle, food_kills, foodnomore, fracturedstars, freeezzze, glamour_glammm, gossamar, greyjay, grungeprincess, heyitskathy, hungry_yet, i_dont_fly, ihatenovember, ilovemkandtheoc, ilovetobempty, im_x_melting, irene_t, its_love00, iw2bthin, jannone, jerry_po, jesusandgeorge, julesrules83, justlettuce, katiedrunk, katrina18, kayla_g, kelstar, kf9330, kristineflyaway, larsson511, lesbaleine, like_clay, lildevilgurl172, lithiumx23x, little_miss_eli, lonelyrainbow, loserallalone, lovethosebones, luhluhl0ve, madeofsequins, madrad, maryx7angelx7, mettep, mischa99, misstiffie, morning_glori, needforchange, nelene07, neysita, ninetyonelbs, nixxi_b, no_other_option, notparaphobic, nrichie_perfect, ohsweetbones, ohtobeyou, omgitsasherly, pain_in_truth, partitions, paspourquoi, pass_a_smile, peachtea7, peenk_candy, petite_larme, petiteeatrepeat, petiteperfect, pettheguineapig, ... |
| Account type: | Plus Account |
